Unanticipated Destiny

I could smell his scent on my brown tie-dye sarong for days after I left. It was still moist and full of sand and as it began to dry, grains of sand like memories fell upon the hardwood floor at the foot of my bed. It was hanging from a driftwood coat hanger a friend made me from treasure found upon the beach. It created the perfect materialized symbol of my two weeks on a beach in Mexico.

 Before closing my eyes at each night, I would get lost in the colors that painted my sarong so beautifully.  I could briefly remember what it was like to feel the soft, white Caribbean sand between my toes once again.  As bits of sand piled up beneath it to fall to the floor, time passed and the moisture evaporated away, a small pile of sand was lying upon the floor at the foot of my bed.

If I could just loose myself in a memory of a brief embrace from our fleeting journey together, I would wake up and bathe my pillow in tears of joy.  Maybe one dream would seamlessly weave itself into another and another until I woke up one morning believing it could be possible for me to wait for the time to pass and for fate to gift me with one more night with him.

After spending 4 days with him my joy felt as surreal as the images he created in the suggestive impressions within his paintings.  I fell in love with this Bohemian South American artist and after my short vacation in the Carribean commenced, I was already anticipating the opening paragraph of the new chapter in my life that was to follow three short months later.  I gave up a salary that afforded me simple luxuries in life, a beautiful apartment and followed my heart.  I moved to Mexico and that Chapter began.....A thirty year old woman giving up her materialized personal empire for a life living off of love and basking daily in the Carribean Sea.

Jana

The day before I hitchhiked two hours with my soul sister Jana to meet with the infamous fortune-teller a few towns away, we sat in my kitchen talking over tea. She asked me if I could go anywhere in the world and live for a while where would it be. I said India, Jana said Africa. We were brainstorming what our hopes and dreams were to see if they ran parallel to what this fortune-teller would tell us that awaited us on our separate paths through our lives. She predicted I would be travelling vagabond and that Jana would be widowed young. She was right, I didn’t even give myself time to finish school before I began exploring this planet. Jana’s love died when she was 28, and she followed him just six months later after being hit by a bus while driving a motorcycle in Asia. Her death inspired me to continue living life to the very fullest as it could be taken away from me in a moment. As time begins to slip away ever so fast I am lost in the idea of fuelling my own self fulfilling prophecy and continuing to manifest the unknown shining on it the most vibrant glow from my soul’s fire. These stories are expressions of moments in life that become part of my personal history as a woman wandering the world in search of self, seeking sustainable happiness inspired by beauty.

Butterflies

As a little bright-eyed girl, I was convinced every summer the same red and black butterfly came to visit me. Every summer I would anticipate her visit. I would sit amongst the dandelions and wild daisies patiently waiting for her to fly by me and rest on my outstretched finger. I would sit for hours alone in my own quiet world of bliss and faith; lost in the belief that mine was the only fingertip that could touch her wings, and that she was the only one who could connect with my secret thoughts and dreams. For I dreamt I could fly away with her and live my life chasing the beautiful colours and aromatic fragrances of flowers. I wished I could sprout those fragile red and black wings and become the butterfly that could traverse through natures peaceful landscape only touched by beauty.